But there's a juicy artery in your groin," he said after a pause to regroup, his voice as slithery as a snake on a slide. "Don't you talk dirty," I told him. "I won't listen to that.

I had never seen so many cute men in one place in my life. But I could tell they were not for me. Russell was like the gay vampire Hugh Hefner, and this was the Playboy Mansion, with an emphasis on the "boy.

He looked like he'd just seen the Ghost of You Better Shut Your Mouth.

Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled. I'd finally found something Eric did poorly.

Woo woo, secret vampire stuff!

I felt like a car that had only been operated by one driver… a car its new prospective buyer was determined to take to the Daytona 500.

Maybe she was being so hoity-toity because she didn't have her own fairy godmother.