Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.

These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it.

Everybody in New York thinks the Knicks are Playboy bunnies, and I have been telling them for years the Knicks are a rabbit. They're closer to a Playboy bunny this year but for the last few years these guys are like, 'We have a really good team!' And I say, 'You really think that?' And I say, 'No, they don't.' But this is the best team they've had in a while.

Everybody in the world has an ego. The only difference between us is we have a reason to have an ego.

If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn't get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.

I May Be Wrong but I Doubt It.

It's the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife.