I don't think of myself as giving interviews. I just have conversations. That gets me in trouble.

I read that heavy drinking is bad for your health. I decided I better stop reading.

I think you have an obligation to be honest.

Curling is not a sport. I called my grandmother and told her she could win a gold medal because they have dusting in the Olympics now.

I'm afraid of the skeletons in my closet. I've got a whole cemetery full of them.

Any time a little midget does something like this, you gotta give him a 10!.

Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them.