Sometimes I have to criticize guys to try to make it fun, I mean, I'm out there trying to bust other people. I want all these guys to do well, but when they do something stupid or don't play well, I try not to kill 'em, I try to make 'em laugh a little bit.

I'm serious. I've got to get people to realize that the government is full of it. Republicans and Democrats want to argue over stuff that's not important, like gay marriage or the war in Iraq or illegal immigration... When I run - if I run - we're going to talk about real issues like improving our schools, cleaning up our neighborhoods of drugs and crime and making Alabama a better place for all people.

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.

I was asked for years about being a Republican, probably because most black people are Democrats. My mother heard it once and called me and said 'Charles, Republicans are for the rich people.' And I said, 'Mom, I'm rich.'

Any time a little midget does something like this, you gotta give him a 10!.

Poor white people and poor black people just don't know how much they have in common. Rich people don't give a damn about either group.

I'm still going to Disney World.