You try for a little happiness, and what do you get? A few memories and a fat stomach!

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.

Love is a letter on pink stationery.

If you grit your teeth and show real determination, you'll always have a chance.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

One of Beethoven's favorite dishes was macaroni and cheese. The girl I marry must be able to make good macaroni and cheese..." "How did Beethoven feel about cold cereal?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.