Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you.

I have observed that whenever you try to hit somebody, there is a tendency for them to try to hit you back.

A tragic life is romantic when it happens to somebody else.

I think this is irresponsible preaching and very dangerous, and especially when it is slanted toward children, I think it's totally irresponsible, because I see nothing biblical that points up to our being in the last days, and I just think it's an outrageous thing to do, and a lot of people are making a living—they've been making a living for 2,000 years—preaching that we're in the last days.

You try for a little happiness, and what do you get? A few memories and a fat stomach!

One of Beethoven's favorite dishes was macaroni and cheese. The girl I marry must be able to make good macaroni and cheese..." "How did Beethoven feel about cold cereal?

If life were a camera, I'd have the lens cap on.