I love America. It's Americans I can't stand.

You try for a little happiness, and what do you get? A few memories and a fat stomach!

Dear Santa Claus, just a last note before you take off. I hope you have a nice trip. Don't forget to fasten your seat belt.

My mind reels with sarcastic replies.

All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog.

Well, I know about loneliness. I won't talk about it, but I was very lonely after the war. I know what it feels like to spend a whole weekend all by yourself and no one wants you at all.

Humor is proof that everything is going to be all right with God nevertheless.