What is a normal childhood? We weren't rich, we were pretty middle-class. My dad survived from job to job; with him taking care of so many relatives, he couldn't save any money.

I dare anyone to spend 10 years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre's hive of oppression and not suffer some form of an emotional tsunami.

You never have to look over your shoulder when you tell the truth. You never have to remember the details, because they are what they are. And you don't have to make sure your story matches everyone else's.

The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.

Charlie Sheen has the potential to cause your soul to weep and forfeit

Sometimes the right choice seems great at the moment, but then suddenly it's as if somebody detonated a suicide bomb.

I'm 0 for 3 with marriage - the scoreboard doesn't lie, never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers.