I gotta take the baton from Chuck Norris.

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies.

As kids we're not taught how to deal with success; we're taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?

People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.

Let's hook up and just bring fiery death.

I've spent, I think, close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.

What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.