I have a belief: What belongs to you, comes to you.

OMG! Is this true? [Marcus Bachmann] has a Christian clinic where he de-programs gay boys & girls! I'm gonna strangle him with my Boa!

I'm not a role model, nor have I ever tried to be a role model. The only thing about me as a role model is I've managed to stay here and be working and survive. For 40 years.

Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair-ew!-and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.

Donald Trump can't come up with a hairstyle that looks human, how can he come up with a plan to defeat ISIS.

I just don't understand how anyone would want to be a Republican. I just can't figure it. I don't understand. If you're poor, if you're any kind of minority - gay, black, Latino, anything. If you're not a rich born-again-Christian, I don't get it.