I've been screaming at the top of my lungs at my family, 'Work out! Work out! Old age is coming!'

Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.

I'm like a bumper car. When I did an infomercial I was fodder for every TV comedy show. I couldn't get a job. People said I was a huge joke. I've been a joke so many times. I've been on my way out since I started, but I'm strong-willed. My mother is so much tougher than I am and my grandmother is so much tougher than my mother.

I wouldn't give myself any advice, because advice is kinda bullshit. Take a deep breath and don't take any of it too seriously.

I'm scared to death of being poor. It's like a fat girl who loses 500 pounds but is always fat inside. I grew up poor and will always feel poor inside. It's my pet paranoia.

I don't like Bush. I don't trust him. I don't like his record. He's stupid. He's lazy.

Christian said he'd call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.