It doesn't matter what did or did not happen then. It only matters what happens NOW.
If you want to feel a certain way, feel it now.
When you stop comparing what is right here and now with what you wish were, you can begin to enjoy what is.
If you want to know what you were conditioned to believe as a child, look at how you treat yourself now.
Your definition of who you are is your prison. You can set yourself free at any time.
You have been taught that there is something wrong with you and that you are imperfect, but there isn't and you're not.