Small things such as this have saved me: how much I love my mother โ even after all these years. How powerfully I carry her within me. My grief is tremendous but my love is bigger. So is yours. You are not grieving your sonโs death because his death was ugly and unfair. Youโre grieving it because you loved him truly. The beauty in that is greater than the bitterness of his death.
Cheryl StrayedOf course some people manage to write books really young and publish really young. But for most writers, it takes several years because you have to apprentice yourself to the craft, and you also have to grow up. I think maturity is connected to one's ability to write well.
Cheryl StrayedDonโt do what you know on a gut level to be the wrong thing to doI donโt think thereโs a single dumbass thing Iโve done in my adult life that I didnโt know was a dumbass thing to do while I was doing it. Even when I justified it to myselfโas I did every damn timeโthe truest part of me knew I was doing the wrong thing. Always. As the years pass, Iโm learning how to better trust my gut and not do the wrong thing, but every so often I get a harsh reminder that Iโve still got work to do.
Cheryl StrayedThe healing power of even the most microscopic exchange with someone who knows in a flash precisely what you're talking about because she experienced that thing too cannot be overestimated.
Cheryl StrayedIf, as a culture, we donโt bear witness to grief, the burden of loss is placed entirely upon the bereaved, while the rest of us avert our eyes and wait for those in mourning to stop being sad, to let go, to move on, to cheer up. And if they donโt โ if they have loved too deeply, if they do wake each morning thinking, I cannot continue to live โ well, then we pathologize their pain; we call their suffering a disease. We do not help them: we tell them that they need to get help.
Cheryl Strayed