When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.

I honestly think hipsters eat with their assholes because they consume everything wrong.

The nerdist movement is less about consumers; there is a large contingent that are creative nerdists instead of consumers.

Even before I had an assistant, my calendar was color-coded and I had all these different e-mail rules for how to prioritize e-mails, so I made it a point years ago to figure all that stuff out because my life was a mess.

I hate to say it, but because of humanity's capitalistic nature, money is important.

Comedy has sort of been my life-long obsession. I literally obsessed over comedy. I really didn't play sports - for me it was just comedy, computers and chess club; those were my big things.

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.