When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.

If you do a joke that's really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, 'Real original, you're just doing old jokes!' But bands do it all the time.

If you can build your career around your passions, then you're winning in life; that's one of the best things you can ask for.

You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.

Worry is a misuse of your imagination.

Trying to make strangers laugh is crazy and more than a little narcissistic.

I feel like so much of why I sort of want to work in television is so that people know to come see me live.