If you wish to achieve any success in this life, do your best to surround yourself with an orgy of good choices.

If I wasn't acting or doing stand-up, I would be in animation. Or if I had the discipline I might studies physics.

With stand-up, there's a little bit of an exaggerated reality because things have to be manipulated to create comedy, to create jokes.

When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.

I have opinions about the differences between Memphis barbecue and Texas barbecue. Put me in the kitchen and you'll see how Southern I can be.

You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.

One of the many reasons why I love stand-up so much is when you're performing, you get instant feedback. You know if stuff is working right away.