With stand-up, there's a little bit of an exaggerated reality because things have to be manipulated to create comedy, to create jokes.

I probably get one or two days off every five or six weeks.

I would say that nerds, as a rule, are much more sexually active than the average person. There's a lot of anxiety and stress in the nerd brain, so sex is good for that.

I think doing the podcast may have been one of the best career decisions I've ever made in my life.

Comedy has sort of been my life-long obsession. I literally obsessed over comedy. I really didn't play sports - for me it was just comedy, computers and chess club; those were my big things.

If you wish to achieve any success in this life, do your best to surround yourself with an orgy of good choices.

I honestly think hipsters eat with their assholes because they consume everything wrong.