You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.

If I wasn't acting or doing stand-up, I would be in animation. Or if I had the discipline I might studies physics.

I am a freelancer. My services are available to anyone at any time.

The idea of the archetypal nerd is totally blurred these days. So many people of this current generation have grown up with technology and video games. It's just a part of the world now, a part of our shared culture.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s, it took effort to be a nerd. You had to seek out the nerd stuff.

Twitter is basically text messaging. Twitter is a guy you can always elbow in the side and say, "Hey, look, a guy in a clown suit just threw up!" And I don't have 400-800 words to say about that, I just wanted to say that one thing.

Do you think Patrick Swayze now goes up behind people in pottery classes and hugs them just to crack up other ghosts?