I'm working on something a little different. It's a technique I call, 'tantric abstinence.' Now, the way this works is I meet a woman, I charm the heck out of her, and then right as she's considering sleeping with me, I say something so awkward that she leaves and I have to start over again with another woman entirely.
Christian FinneganGrowing up as a comedian, the first thing you dream of is having your own album, but even more than that, I always wanted that hour special on cable.
Christian FinneganYou know what I'm great at? Trivial Pursuit. What good is that gonna do you in life? It has the word 'trivial' in the name. The game is basically telling you that you pursue trivial things. Trivial - as in not important. Trivial - as in maybe you should've gone to grad school.
Christian FinneganI haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are.
Christian Finnegan