I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.

I've always prided myself on being able to perform in the "alt-comedy" zone, but also being able to do comedy for people who aren't media-saturated, and maybe don't have the latest Dan Deacon album. I probably won't be the most popular guy at Zanies in Nashville, and I'll never be the coolest dude at Largo, but I like that I can swim in both those waters.

Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.

I joined a gym recently. I don't have the best history in the world of sticking with my fitness regimens, but I feel like this time's gonna be different. I figure one of two things is gonna happen: either I'll get into shape, or I'll just resign myself to paying an $85 a month fat tax.

I haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are.

Some of you guys must have real jobs - office jobs. Anybody? By a show of broken spirits.

Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful.