The thing is, I hate political comedy. I personally loathe it.

It's my genius plan of avoiding any career momentum whatsoever. Definitely the pop-culture thing is something I've avoided in my act. It's just too transitory and ephemeral.

Do you guys remember that woman who disappeared a few years ago, Chandra Levy? Do you remember her? I found this fascinating. Apparently, the day she disappeared, she had gone on her computer, and the last website she ever visited was an online map of the park where her body was found. That's true. I just hope that if I ever disappear, people don't look for me based on the last websites I visited.

Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money.

I haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are.

If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.

I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless I really want to spend the rest of my life temping, or teaching drama to third-graders, I don't have a lot of other options - which is freeing, in a way. I never have to say, "Well, I could always go back to law school."