The fathers, if they got me alone, would try to kiss and fondle me. I hated it.

I took on the sins of everybody, of a generation, really.

I have survived and possibly I should not hope for more than that.

I enjoyed sex and indulged in it when I fancied the men.

I never found anyone who was good enough, who I could trust enough.

We knew we were talking about spies. I knew he knew I knew. I was digging my own grave.

I'm terrified of men these days. If someone asked me out now, I don't know what I'd say, how I'd react. But I couldn't go through with it, not at all. I suppose I've been terrified of them all along.