One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.
Christopher Moore. . . You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong? Charlie: No, no, Iโm okay, I just had to take directions from a mute beaver in a fez to get here, itโs unsettling.
Christopher MooreShe pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never seen.
Christopher MooreThey want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
Christopher MooreTurtles hate heights. They don't even like being a few feet off the ground. It's the main reason they have resisted evolution for so long-fear of heights. Turtle thinking goes thus: Sure, first our scales turn into feathers and the next thing you know we're flying and chirping and perching on trees. We've seen it happen. Thanks, but we're staying right here in the mud where we belong. You're not going to see us flying full-tilt boogie into a sliding glass door.
Christopher Moore