She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.

They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?

You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.

Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair.

Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women.

He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.

The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.