When I teach seminars, I tell people, Your stuff has to look like something thats out there, because otherwise nobody will take a chance on you.

All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?

It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality.

Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk

...One time you take a hundred thousand dollars and let a vampire go, the whole world turns on you like you're some kind of bad guy.

No theory ever benefited by the application of data, Amy. Data kills theories. A theory has no better time than when it's lying there naked, pure, unsullied by facts. Let's just keep it that way for a while." "So you don't really have a theory?" "Clueless." "You lying bag of fish heads." "I can fire you, you know. Even if Clay was the one that hired you, I'm not totally superfluous to this operation yet. I'm kind of in charge. I can fire you. Then how will you live?" "I'm not getting paid." "See, right there. Perfectly good concept ruined by the application of fact.

He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.