Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles and the kinkiest fans!

Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.

Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk

Kayso, it turns out that driving an actual car is way harder than it is in 'Grand Theft Auto: Zombie Hooker Smackdown.

He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.

Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit

And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacob's dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?