If you ask my dad for help... he'll help. Like a vulture helps an over-run armadillo on a Texas highway. One peck at the time.

Everyone should think for themselves. I learned that in a book I bought called 'Everyone Should Think For Themselves'.

I'm the sort of loser who succeeds really well and then drops a turd in the punch bowl.

There's one in every family. When the police calls in the middle of the night and says "We've got a family members of yours under arrest" and you know directly who it is. In my family we have seven of those... And they are all my *Mom*!

I have a dream! Because I have lived a nightmare.

My dad don't like lies. He says it hurts people in the long race. He prefers the truth. That hurts them instantly.

Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear the day their parents kill. My mum killed a guy, at my wedding. So I can pretty much check that off. But, she's my mum. And no matter what she did I just can't walk away from her. She gave me birth. She gave me love. She gave me the ability to make a cigarette fire look like it was started by the hot water heater.