What you have to consider is the possibility that God doesn't like you. Could be, God hates us. This is not the worst thing that could happen.

People take conventional ways that other people have always decorated their cars, and use them as ways of giving other people permission to approach them.

The only funny part about Colonial Dunsboro is maybe it's too authentic, but for all the wrong reasons. This whole crowd of losers and nutcases who hide out here because they can't make it in the real world, in real jobs — isn't this why we left England in the first place? To establish our own alternate reality. Weren't the Pilgrims pretty much the crackpots of their time? For sure, instead of just wanting to believe something different about God's love, the losers I work with want to find salvation through compulsive behaviors.

People will listen to you only when they know you're dying, otherwise they're just waiting for their turn to talk.

If you ask me, reincarnation is just another way to procrastinate.

Imagine how you’d feel if your whole life turned into a job you couldn’t stand.

Abortion occurs so frequently in my stories. Abortion sort of synthesizes both sex and death. To have sex and death placed as close to one another as possible is always a goal of mine.