As the child outlives the father,so must the character bury the author.

You have no idea what it is like to constantly disappoint people. You see it the moment you meet them. You see in their eyes that they expected something so entirely different, and here they are meeting you.

Some writers research in order to write. I write in order to research topics that interest me. Especially if I can meet with other people, in forums from illness support groups to phone-sex hotlines, and learn what other people know best.

Get married before the sex gets boring or you'll never get married.

Besides, hysteria is only possible with an audience.

People will listen to you only when they know you're dying, otherwise they're just waiting for their turn to talk.

Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler. You can laugh at anything from far enough away.