At first, the new owner pretends he never looked at the living room floor.

If it comes down to a choice between being unloved and being vulnerable and sensitive and emotional, then you can just keep your love.

People didn't know who I was or why I was there, so they started inventing stories about me. I was a registered sex offender and I'd just been released from prison and was being forced to do community-service work. I was a murderer, an arsonist - all these horrific things had been projected on me because no one knew what to make of this white guy who showed up and made toast at 5 o'clock every morning.

It's okay to cry as long as you're faking it.

Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.

My life has been about living like a monk and looking like a priest so that people will come up to me and tell me their most appalling stories. They have to make their confession to somebody, and it might as well be me.

Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.