Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation.

No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day.

As the child outlives the father,so must the character bury the author.

You realize that there's no point in doing anything if nobody's watching. You wonder, if there had been a low turnout at the crucifixion, would they have rescheduled?

Anything pretty,' Claire will tell you, 'it's only for sale because no one wants it.

Part of her doing suicide intervention is my caseworker has to mix me another gin and tonic.

Sometimes the very best way to deal with unpleasant things is to depict them in ways that allow people to laugh at them and destroy the power of unsayable things, rather than refusing to acknowledge them.