Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.

You’re training a new employee,' says Mrs. Clark, 'to take over your boring old job.' When you raise a child.

The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly.

I am the all-singing, all-dancing crap of this world.... I am the toxic waste by-product of God's creation.

Waiters will always pee in soup, people will always fall in love.

This is passive-aggression in action.

Someday you will die, and until you know that, you're useless to me.