My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.

Because nothing is as good as you can imagine it. No one is as beautiful as she is in your head. Nothing is as exciting as your fantasy.

Every high school has its Romeo and Juliet, one tragic couple. So does every generation.

That's how a good story works. It changes how you feel. It brings you to a greater appreciation, a greater joy, of your own existence.

Just keep asking yourself: What would Jesus not do?

We come from a generation of people who need their TV or stereo playing all the time. These people so scared of silence. These soundaholics, these quietophobics.

The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.