Recycling and speed limits are bullshit. They're like someone who quits smoking on his deathbed.

some soap opera, you know, real people pretending to be fake people with made-up problems being watched by real people to forget their real problems.

You're always haunted by the idea you're wasting your life.

Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby.

No one wants to admit we're addicted to music. That's just not possible. No one's addicted to music and television and radio. We just need more of it, more channels, a larger screen, more volume. We can't bear to be without it, but no, nobody's addicted. We could turn it off anytime we wanted. I fit a window frame into a brick wall. With a little brush, the size for fingernail polish, I glue it. The window is the size of a fingernail. The glue smells like hair spray. The smell tastes like oranges and gasoline.

So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn’t funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it. That’s why I write, because life never works except in retrospect. And writing makes you look back. Because since you can’t control life, at least you can control your version.

Hey, you created me! I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!