I consider the 3 most cruelly produced foods to be from lobsters, dropped alive into boiling water, veal from calves separated from their mothers and kept in crates, and pate de foie gras.

I detest professional anythings but particularly professional writers. Most of them today are just garbage collectors.

For an animal person, an animal-less home is no home at all.

Every damn President since I can remember has been so in love with foreign policy that they're just like a schoolboy with a new girl.

In my day the schools taught two things, love of country and penmanship-now they don't teach either.

It used to be said that, socially speaking, Philadelphia asked who a person is, New York how much is he worth, and Boston what does he know. Nationally it has now become generally recognized that Boston Society has long cared even more than Philadelphia about the first point and has refined the asking of who a person is to the point of demanding to know who he was. Philadelphia asks about a man's parents; Boston wants to know about his grandparents.

The National Park Service shot a mule in the face. He survived but had trouble swallowing and often food came out of his nose.