I detest professional anythings but particularly professional writers. Most of them today are just garbage collectors.

Every damn President since I can remember has been so in love with foreign policy that they're just like a schoolboy with a new girl.

It has long been a theory of mine and I am known, if I do say so, for my long theories that authors, generally speaking, are rotten letter writers.

The National Park Service shot a mule in the face. He survived but had trouble swallowing and often food came out of his nose.

As far as I'm concerned, the only difference between the Republicans and the Democrats is the Republicans are Socialists and the Democrats are Bolsheviks.

People ask me what makes a good funeral, and I tell them the most important thing is your man in the casket. If you have a man of substance in there, you have the makings of a first-class funeral.

I detest professional anythings but particularly professional writers. Most of them today are just garbage collectors.