Opera is like a husband with a foreign title: expensive to support, hard to understand, and therefore a supreme social challenge.

As far as I'm concerned, the only difference between the Republicans and the Democrats is the Republicans are Socialists and the Democrats are Bolsheviks.

Cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human mind. They realize...that we have an infuriating inability to understand, let alone follow, even the simplest and most explicit of directions.

The customer is always right! John Wanamaker must be turning in his grave. If you're a customer today, you're an intruder.

I consider the 3 most cruelly produced foods to be from lobsters, dropped alive into boiling water, veal from calves separated from their mothers and kept in crates, and pate de foie gras.

I detest professional anythings but particularly professional writers. Most of them today are just garbage collectors.

Every damn President since I can remember has been so in love with foreign policy that they're just like a schoolboy with a new girl.