Opera is like a husband with a foreign title: expensive to support, hard to understand, and therefore a supreme social challenge.

The National Park Service shot a mule in the face. He survived but had trouble swallowing and often food came out of his nose.

For an animal person, an animal-less home is no home at all.

Support your right to arm bears.

The customer is always right! John Wanamaker must be turning in his grave. If you're a customer today, you're an intruder.

I've always had a sneaking fondness for Martin Van Buren. He wrote his autobiography, you know, and never once mentioned his wife. Now that's what I call a mans man.

A "good" family, it seems, is one that used to be better.