You should never trust anyone who listens to Mahler before they're forty.
Snooker is just chess with balls.
Stop worrying, nobody gets out of this world alive.
A lot of my poems are about how ill I am and how I probably won't live beyond next week. I publish a poem and everyone says 'cluck cluck, how wonderful, how brave', but then embarrassingly I'm still here! You see the problem?
A luxury liner is really just a bad play surrounded by water.
Beyoncé and pathos are strangers. Amy Winehouse and pathos are flatmates, and you should see the kitchen.