One of the virtues of the NHS... it doesn't worry you about money at the moment when you're least capable of doing anything about it.

Reading and writing... are exciting. The most exciting things I can think of. And now, as I reflect... I have to say that I've been lucky in that I'm amused by what I do - sufficiently amused.

A lot of my poems are about how ill I am and how I probably won't live beyond next week. I publish a poem and everyone says 'cluck cluck, how wonderful, how brave', but then embarrassingly I'm still here! You see the problem?

Like a Volvo, Bjorn Borg is rugged, has good after-sales service, and is very dull.

You can never get a woman to sit down and listen to a drum solo.

Men never sound more stupid than when they're telling you they're a very complex personality.

Stop worrying, nobody gets out of this world alive.