My wife and I just started listening to the late Beethoven Quartets together, an activity I recommend for all married couples, but that doesn't really mean that I'm finished reading.

Every sentence he manages to utter scatters its component parts like pond water from a verb chasing its own tail.

Ban poetry. And make sure that anyone caught reading it is expelled from school. Then it will acquire the glamour.

You can never get a woman to sit down and listen to a drum solo.

In recent years, perhaps encouraged by competition from McDonald's, the British hamburger has become a credit to the nation. At the time of which I speak, it looked like a scorched beer-coaster or a tenderized disc brake.

Freedom and diversity guard each other, and if a country could form the whole of one's character, Napoleon III and Victor Hugo would have been the same person... if national identity means anything, it means something that comes with you wherever you go, and stays with you no matter how long you stay away.

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.