All your heroes are dead! I killed them!

You're not funny and nobody likes you!

Wrestling is pretty DIY. I've been doing it for 12 years, completely on my own. It's like being in a band or running a zine - except that I get to kick people in the face.

One week I'll get pancakes at Bongo Room, the next week I go to Kuma's Corner. But I always end up at Coldstone. I love ice cream.

John, what are you doing? John, my diet soda. What are you doing?

Do you know what it's like going through life being better than everybody? It's hard.

I pride myself on being a jerk, because I'm brutally honest all the time.