Climb up the ladder! Climb up the ladder! Are you stupid?!

This is how diseases are usually spread. Someone spits on a guy, somebody has sex with a chimp. Next thing you know . . . AIDS.

Sir! Sir! I'm afraid your music is just too loud!

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs. I kick people in the face for a living. So, if that’s something you’re into — if you like watching people get kicked in the face — come see me. I’ll probably be your favorite wrestler.

I'm straight edge, and that means I'm better than you.

CM has always stood for one thing: Chicago Made. Chick Magnet? That's preposterous. Girls don't like me. I was born and raised in Chicago. The city made me. Punk is just because I've always been a smart-mouthed, wise-ass punk. I still am. I was the guy, if a bunch of football players were messing with one of my friends, I'd walk over there and spit in their face.

A lot of people in the WWE try to paint themselves as outlaws and rebels and I really honestly believe I'm the only one left. I always do what I want and I never get any flack for it. I don't know if it's because they know they're not gonna win, or it's not worth fighting me over. Plus I don't see what the big deal is about me wearing a Cabana shirt. The guy should be working there, first of all, and it's promoting my friend. I don't see what the big deal is.