The irony here is we're looking for water and we're looking out for water. Without it you die, and with too much of it you die.

It's a recipe for disaster.

So I'm pampering myself to a homemade stone pumice session, to sand down my feet because I'm worth it.

It's like walking on a 1970 blaze orange shag carpet in a kitchen.

I know I look like a piece of sausage to those lions. A sausage with braids.

So do you want a turd sandwich or a turd sandwich with mustard. I'd go with the mustard, but still, it's a turd sandwich.

Over the years, Americans in particular have been all too willing to squander their hard-earned independence and freedom for the illusion of feeling safe under someone else's authority. The concept of self-sufficiency has been undermined in value over a scant few generations. The vast majority of the population seems to look down their noses upon self-reliance as some quaint dusty relic, entertained only by the hyperparanoid or those hopelessly incapable of fitting into mainstream society.