So do you want a turd sandwich or a turd sandwich with mustard. I'd go with the mustard, but still, it's a turd sandwich.

I'm the Bernie Madoff of this spider.

If I don't have s*** in my pocket now, you'll have s*** in your pants later.

It's a recipe for disaster.

The irony here is we're looking for water and we're looking out for water. Without it you die, and with too much of it you die.

I feel like a tick on a dog.

I'm all for the path of least resistance.