Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen

Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.

The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domestic animal.

Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen

Beer does not taste like itself unless it is chasing a dram of neat whisky down the gullet - preferably two drams

Nobody who is not prepared to spoil cats will get from them the reward they are able to give to those who do spoil them.

You are offered a piece of bread and butter that feels like a damp handkerchief and sometimes, when cucumber is added to it, like a wet one.