The corporate scandals are getting bigger and bigger. In a speech on Wall Street, President Bush spoke out on corporate responsibility, and he warned executives not to cook the books. Afterwards, Martha Stewart said the correct term was to saute the books.

A woman on a Southwest Airlines flight gave birth to a baby. As soon as he was born, the baby said, 'I had more leg room in the womb.'

I'm a paranoid person. And I think - I'm the kind of person that can come up with lots of negative scenarios. But I remembered thinking that seemed like - that was a stretch even for me.

In a new interview, Secretary of State Colin Powell repeated that the U.S. has no plans to attack Syria or Iran. After hearing this Donald Rumsfeld responded, 'Like he'd know.'

Today, Angelina Jolie met with Pope Francis at the Vatican. Long story short: She adopted him.

An American judo fighter was expelled from the Olympics after testing positive for marijuana. Officials became suspicious when he kept stopping the match and saying, 'What are we fighting for, man?'

President Obama has appointed a new head of the Secret Service. The new Secret Service director was so excited that he jumped over the White House fence for joy.