I like being tested. I get as scared as anyone. But the feeling of putting yourself on the line, betting on your talent and having it work; that's the most exhilarating feeling in the world.

Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.

Once you discover white paint, you'll never wash your underwear again.

Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The marathon was won in record time by a Democrat candidate running away from President Obama.

Iran is celebrating the nuclear deal. The Iranians are going crazy. They're drinking non-alcoholic champagne and thinking about dancing. That's how excited they are.

Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing: Gary Coleman is going to drown.

NBC executives say that if Donald Trump does run for president, they will not renew The Apprentice. So some good may come out of this.