I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder but it's sad that I never knew my real ladder.

Who needs drugs when you have Takeshi's Castle?

I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder but it's sad that I never knew my real ladder.

For me, everything has always been an accident.

It's not supposed to be easy, if it's easy, it's no good, that's the way I look at it.

Once journalists have been rifling through your dustbins, you do try and keep them at arms' length.

There was never any career plan. When 'Red Dwarf' started I thought we were doing a curious little sitcom on BBC2, I didn't think I was becoming an actor. I didn't see that 21 years later I'd still be talking about it, let alone filming a new one. For me everything's always been an accident.