President Obama said that we rely too much on gadgets. He gave a passionate speech about technology, but he had to stop when the teleprompter broke.

Some people watching CNN were so shocked they started rioting. No, I'm kidding. No one watches CNN.

The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.

I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.

I try and live my life in bite-size chunks.

I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think.

The 'Star Wars' movie is coming out. Disney has kept the details of the movie under wraps because they're not Sony.