Dell Computers announced they're releasing a competitor for the iPad. Now it is, in fact, a great alternative for people who already have an iPad, but are fed up with it working all the time.

It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.

That's the thing about terrorism - it works. Especially for the terrorists - they might not get what they want but it feels damn good trying.

I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit rock bottom?

Nothing says romance like hobos, martyrs and decapitations.

I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.