Twas the night before Thanksgiving.

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.

Al Qaeda has declared war on the Somali pirates. That is awesome! Evil against evil. Like Alien versus Predator or Cheney versus his lawyer.

According to a new study, our email is not as safe as we thought. How do they know this? They've been reading my email.

The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious.

They've found a link between chemicals in shampoo and obesity. If you're eating shampoo, your weight is the least of your concerns.

I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn.